What Does It Mean If My Spouse Won't Go To Therapy?

What Does It Mean If My Spouse Won’t Go To Therapy?

If you want to work through concerns within a romantic relationship, couple’s therapy is an excellent route to take. If you’re interested in couple’s therapy, the chances are that you care about your relationship and want to nurture it. With this in mind, it can be discouraging and painful if a partner refuses to go. So, what do you do if you want to go to therapy, but a spouse or partner is against the idea? What does it mean if your partner is against the idea of going to therapy? 

Why Won’t My Spouse Go To Therapy?

There are a lot of possible reasons that a person might turn down the idea of going to therapy at first. Often, turning down therapy means that there’s worry of some kind involved. Here are some common reasons why someone might worry about going to therapy:

  • Stigma and shame. This may be due to a person’s familial background, stigma in society surrounding therapy, or it may have another source. 
  • Misconceptions surrounding the nature of therapy and what it entails. For example, someone might worry that a therapist will take sides in couple’s therapy, when this isn’t the case.
  • Negative past experiences. If someone has been to a therapist who wasn’t the best fit before, going back can be a big step.

Having an open conversation with your partner is the best way to pinpoint the reason that they’re hesitant to try counseling or therapy. Sometimes, it can help if a person is open to gaining a better understanding of couple’s therapy and what it can do for couples.

About Couple’s Therapy 

Couples therapy isn’t just for couples experiencing concerns like cheating and frequent arguments, though it is an excellent option and often an important step to take to heal a relationship if you’re encountering those concerns. Couples therapy can also help with:

  • Marriage preparation. Statistics indicate that couples to go to premarital counseling are more likely to stay together. 
  • Communication. Therapy can help you improve overall communication, express your needs and thoughts to one another, and learn to support and understand one another more effectively. 
  • Affection. Showing affection is absolutely crucial in romantic relationships, where contempt is said to be one of the biggest risk factors for divorce. 
  • Disagreements. Sometimes, it’s not necessarily that you argue or fight regularly, disagree about a large or meaningful issue and find that is impacting your relationship. This is vital to address. 

Of course, this is by no means an extensive list. A couple may also go to therapy for concerns related to parenting, trust, intimacy, and virtually anything else they’re facing. There are a variety of different forms of couples therapy, so that is one thing to consider. Popular forms of couples therapy like emotionally focused therapy (EFT) have a high success rate, with 90% of people who attend emotionally focused therapy experiencing improvement in their relationship. 

Talking With A Hesitant Partner

Here are some tips for talking to a partner who is hesitant to go to therapy:

  • Keep a calm, even tone when you bring up the topic. Let them know that you want to listen and discuss their concerns. Just like therapy, this is a collaborative process.
  • Involve them in the process. Talk about looking for a therapist together and ask if there’s something that might make them more comfortable going to therapy. 
  • Ask if they would consider a trial session. Sometimes, it’s easier for someone to commit to one session when they are hesitant to try therapy.

If negative past experiences are the concern at hand, remember that you can stop seeing a therapist at any point in time. You don’t need permission to stop seeing a therapist, and you can always switch if you don’t like the first provider that you see. 

Find A Therapist 

Whether you’re looking for a therapist to see one-on-one or are hoping to address concerns related to relationships with a partner or spouse in couples therapy, some people aren’t sure where to start when it comes to finding a therapist. To find a therapist, you can search the web, use an online therapist directory, contact your insurance company to see who they cover, look for low-cost resources in your area, utilize an employee assistance program, or sign up for a reputable online therapy platform with licensed providers like BetterHelp. Online therapy is often more affordable than traditional in-person counseling or therapy is in the absence of insurance, and all of the providers on the BetterHelp platform are licensed, which is vital for those seeking remote care. Regardless of how you find a therapist or counselor, you deserve to find the support you need, so don’t hesitate to take the first step and get started today. 

About the Author

How A Theme Park Can Benefit Your Mental Health

Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.

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