Time to get some new lipstick…

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strong woman quote
Coco Chanel Quote
If you’ve read my blog over the last couple of years you may have noticed I don’t generally post “hot button” issues. I tend to keep items that will alienate readers off my blog, we all have certain beliefs and let’s be frank – we never will agree. My beliefs and stance on a lot of things will not mesh with my readers, we’re all individual and I respect my readers enough to appreciate that about them.
All of that being said – there are times I just can’t hold my tongue! If you know me outside of the blog, this isn’t a shock at all. If things get heated, I usually find it easier to bite my tongue and walk away. It’s not that I don’t like to debate, but really some arguments aren’t worth the battle.

Now, I hope this post isn’t going to start a debate – that is not my intention at all. I’ve noticed something that I just…can’t.. shake. For some reason, even as adults women seem to be tearing each other down – for no good reason at all. It is almost like a constant questioning of “am I still in high school?” Attitudes fly – and instead of helping each other up – we continually are battling with each other and tearing each other down.

Growing up, our parents prepared us a lot for living on our own. My sister and I can cook as well as use tools. We’re “relatively” well rounded and can stand on our own in society. Our mom had one sentence as the base of her raising us “There is no excuse for a stupid woman” – we are both educated, love to read and learn still to this day. We strive for our goals – even if they change, and keep going if life trips us up. That’s just how we are.

Being raised with that thought in the back of my mind – I often see women do things that make me cringe. I’m not saying they’re not smart – but maybe their decisions aren’t the best. A really good example is a grade school friend who is on my facebook page, she’s a very sweet girl who I’ve noticed struggle a lot. Her status updates over the past couple years continually are about guys ignoring her, or ditching her and even most recently physically harming her. My heart breaks when I read it, and even if people reach out it doesn’t stop. She is not to blame for this but I always wonder if she changed one decision – or looked for a different type of guy if this could change for her? I know, it’s purely speculation – but I’m there to support her as she needs it.

My grade school friend is an extreme case I know, but it brings me to the first point of this post – everything can be changed by the decisions you make in your life. Not happy with your job  – change your situation, start finding a different way to do it, go back to school or try to find a new job. Obviously don’t quit without a backup plan! But as far as we know we only get one shot at this life, make it what you want!

Life is full of decisions, and each one we make defines who we are. As women, and people in general we need to start respecting some of those decisions other make. Child rearing, breast feeding, circumcision, home schooling, religion, sexual orientation, book preference, and even favorite food are all what make us who we are – there is no need to tear someone down because of the decisions they make. We need to support each other and help each other out even if we struggle with the decisions others make.

I am, and pretty much always have been a feminist *gasp* – who would have thought?! Not the “man hating” type – but the empowerment type. I love to see strong women, and see other women grow stronger. Recently I read a post by a fellow blogger – Things no one will tell Fat Girls – SO I WILL and it got me thinking more about this topic (Warning her post does contain cursing, so only read if you’re OK with that!). I really think her post should be called “What every woman should know” – it’s simple, it’s true – be comfortable in your skin.  As women we tear ourselves down, as well as others.

Despite being a “strong woman”, well at least in my opinion, there are times things still drag me down. I recently reached out to other bloggers for support while I was having a down day – the reply I got was “Maybe you need to change your hair or try a new lipstick”… Immediately my inner feminist jumped out and I bit my tongue (nothing good was going to come out of my mouth). While I joke about being the 1950’s housewife, and dinner is on the table at 5pm – I strongly believe that it’s more than your hairstyle or lipstick that makes up the person. And for the other woman to insinuate that was all it would take to pull me out of my funk hit a nerve so deep it still twinges. Yes, I know she meant well – and maybe that works for her. But for me it was a back handed slap instead of a helpful or supportive comment.

As women we have a lot of battles to fight, some are worth it and other’s aren’t. We need to start taking a hard look at who’s in control of the decisions in our lives and the direction it’s going. We need to start supporting each other and the decisions we make. We are all strong women, and together we can be stronger.

Make the decision to live the life you want – you are driving the car. No one will make that decision to give you the perfect life, only you can control that. Support each other and be strong not only yourself but your family.

7 COMMENTS

  1. Well said! I too am seeing the true colors of some people lately. There are a ton of bitchy people out there…

  2. I’m glad you shared this. It’s a topic I speak about with a friend very often. I would just like to note that it may not always be possible to change your situation, but you can always change your approach to that situation and how you handle it.

    • Very good point! While our situations may not be able to be changed how we react can be, and that can change the result.

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