Everyday of our lives we deal with words. From typing, communicating and even how we connect with others. If I’m not typing, I’m up in front of a a class lecturing. I’m not really huge on talking on the phone unless you’re a select few people, but to say that words are a big part of my life is an understatement. But have you ever wondered the impact of your words? What can they do the people around you?
Since I’m always working in words, I make sure I choose mine carefully. From emails, to work and even here on the blog. I respect that we all have different views and try not to trample on the the beliefs and feelings of others. But this bleeds into our home life as well. My boyfriend and I don’t like to fight. That’s not to say we don’t disagree or fight, instead we talk things out. With that being said, our neighbors never hear us fighting or disagreeing. The worst they may hear is us joking and yelling back and forth through the house.
Unfortunately, we can’t say the same for one of our neighbors. I have mentioned them occasionally in the past. Our houses are only separated by about 10 feet and their driveway. But we hear everything from their house. In a stark contrast, the neighbors on the other side are quiet as church mice.
But by hearing the neighbors to our West, we hear cursing all day, fighting and screaming. I’ve heard a toddler berated for making a mess where most words are not ones I’d ever use in the heat of the moment, much less to a child. Despite all efforts, no one from the city seems to care when we call on our neighbors when we hear these outbursts. I fear for the children that are put through this daily, although I’m not sure any actually live in the house. The only time our city steps in is when it’s actually the adults fighting and cursing and spilling into other yards. But as far as the kids are concerned no one intervenes.
So why am I writing this? Besides of course to get it off my chest. For over two years I’ve been living next to this insanity. While children being dropped off at all hours of the day and night drives me nuts, and watching toddlers tumble out of cars without car seats breaks my heart. I’ve watched the cycle of hate grow just by learning it from the adults in their life.
Our issues go beyond noise with these neighbors, from threats towards us and damage to our property. The only interaction we’ve had with the children was asking them to play in their own yard or putting their toys or trash back on their property. But my heart breaks when I hear the cursing comes from their mouths, or yelling at each other. No child that is dropped off next door is over the age of 10, and should not be subjected to the yelling and hateful words they are daily.
Throughout summer months, the house and yard is full of children and screaming. But in the winter months they are dropped off for car pool before school hours. Most days I’m woke up by the sound of slamming doors and children yelling in the car. The other day I heard one of the boys say “Keep quiet, Mom is coming and you know she’ll hit you if you’re not quiet”… my heart sank. Yesterday the same child got in the car and told another child “Sit down, sit down or I’m going to hit you” – followed by a string of curse words.
I know that what is going on next door is more than just words, despite the city refusing to do anything. But where do the children learn it? Where do they learn hate and love? They learn it from us, of course. The adults and influences in their lives. While I may be the “mean lady next door” for asking them to play in their own yards, we’ve never raised our voices to them or talked down to them. I hope that despite what they currently are living in, that the children that are dropped off next door will find a way to break the chain of hate and yelling. We’ve all had a toddler in the back seat that parroted a word we didn’t mean to say, but this is going way beyond that. It’s becoming a learned behavior and lifestyle.
Remember that every word you say has power, can shape the future and can change how a child acts and behaves. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather spread love than hate throughout the world.