F9 is Ridiculous and Just What Fans Expect

How to Screen the First 8 Fast and the Furious Movies Before F9 Hits Theaters

When you go to the theater to see any of the Fast and the Furious movies, you always go with a certain expectation of movie. You’re not going to see something to stir your soul, or to make you find deeper meaning to something. No, you go with the plan to see a movie about fast cars, some racing and the “commitment to family”. And that is exactly what fans can expect when they go into theaters to see F9.

I’ll admit, it’s been a while since I’ve seen any of the Fast and the Furious movies. The last one I can remember seeing was Tokyo Drift from 2006. I remembered them being about cars, street racing and a little goofy and cheesy. But when in the past 15 years have they gone off the silly track to full on ridiculous mountain where I sat there questioning everything I was watching in the two and a half hour film? I know, I know, this is what fans are going in for – but I have some serious questions here.

How to Screen the First 8 Fast and the Furious Movies Before F9 Hits Theaters

So here are some questions I had while screening F9 – and while some may be spoilers – all the major plot points are in the trailer basically. And really, after 8 other movies, you know what you’re getting into.

  1. When did they become rouge agents?
  2. Aren’t they too old for this by now? They’re older than me and I am exhausted just watching it
  3. What are the legal issues for bringing your car over MULTIPLE international lines without claiming it?
  4. Where are they getting gas for the cars when they are there?
  5. Is this just Macgyver with fast(ish) cars now?
  6. Can you actually off road in that Dodge Charger or what mods did they do before hand knowing they’d be in this fast speed chase through rocky terrain?
  7. Does the military train or high speed car chases?
  8. When Jacob is introduced – is he just supposed to be the updated and better version of Dom? His car is nicer and shinier?
  9. Can a car land on a plane?
  10. No one knew about Jacob before this? Is it because he just wasn’t written in the scripts yet or because no one knew anything about Dom including his sister?
  11. Do they really think giving a hacker something “pre-internet” is safe?
  12. Is the satellite part ripped from Anti-Trust or The Kingsmen?
  13. Where does Dom put all of the sleeves from his shirt?
  14. Where did everyone else’s sleeves go?
  15. Wait – they also steal the music from MacGyver?
  16. Is it required for the characters to give love stares when they hear Dom’s name?
  17. Queenie – what kind of accent is that?
  18. Did they really call the bad guy Otto? AUTO!?
  19. Transylvania? Did he just say Edinburgh looks like Transylvania?
  20. Are they really tossing in Harry Potter and Star War references? Does that really fit their fan base?
  21. Did they just say that Cauliflower ear means that someone is a bad guy? Isn’t that just a sign they used to wrestle?
  22. How much does it cost to bring your car all over the world?
  23. What is the range of an Electro Magnet – can one really pull a car through a building?
  24. How much damage are they doing to Edinburgh? Like.. what’s the clean up cost going to be here?
  25. Where did Dom’s injuries go? Hell, where did any of their injuries go?
  26. What resemblances does Queen actually see in Dom and Jacob? They’re both muscly men?
  27. Can you pull a biometric file from something someone touched?
  28. Do they have any plan to get OUT of space?
  29. If that car is the same Pontiac Fiero that blew up (and is known to catch fire) how did they take it to space?
  30. Seriously – how much damage is done to the city?
How to Screen the First 8 Fast and the Furious Movies Before F9 Hits Theaters

So, I guess I was wrong – the movies do get you thinking. But what is remarkable about the Fast and the Franchise (other than they keep making them) is the devotion from the fans. This film was one of the first ones delayed due to the pandemic and is probably one of the first ones that will bring a big audience back to theaters. If you’re a fan of the series then you’re going to want to see this on the big screen and most likely in IMAX. Yes, the car chases are there, and the action is in your face. It’s something that fans are looking for.

So, while F9 is completely ridiculous and left me with a lot of questions – I’m most likely not their target audience. I love cars, I love spy movies and all of that. But F9 seemed like a weird jumble of everything wrapped in a ridiculous bow. However, if you are a fan of the films and plan on seeing it – buckle up you’re in for quite the ride. And be sure to stay through the credits there is a mid-credit scene that will give you a hint for the tenth film coming in 2022…

Overall Rating

Three and a Half Stars Review

About F9

F9 movie review

F9 is the ninth chapter in the Fast & Furious Saga, which has endured for two decades and has earned more than $5 billion around the world.

Vin Diesel’s Dom Toretto is leading a quiet life off the grid with Letty and his son, little Brian, but they know that danger always lurks just over their peaceful horizon. This time, that threat will force Dom to confront the sins of his past if he’s going to save those he loves most. His crew joins together to stop a world-shattering plot led by the most skilled assassin and high-performance driver they’ve ever encountered: a man who also happens to be Dom’s forsaken brother, Jakob (John Cena, the upcoming The Suicide Squad).

F9 sees the return of Justin Lin as director, who helmed the third, fourth, fifth and sixth chapters of the series when it transformed into a global blockbuster. The action hurtles around the globe—from London to Tokyo, from Central America to Edinburgh, and from a secret bunker in Azerbaijan to the teeming streets of Tbilisi. Along the way, old friends will be resurrected, old foes will return, history will be rewritten, and the true meaning of family will be tested like never before.

The film stars returning cast members Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Nathalie Emmanuel, Jordana Brewster and Sung Kang, with Oscar® winner Helen Mirren, with Kurt Russell and Oscar® winner Charlize Theron. F9 also features Grammy-winning superstar Cardi B as new franchise character Leysa, a woman with a connection to Dom’s past, and a cameo by Reggaeton sensation Ozuna.

F9 is produced by Neal H. Moritz p.g.a., Vin Diesel p.g.a., Justin Lin p.g.a., Jeff Kirschenbaum p.g.a., Joe Roth, Clayton Townsend p.g.a., and Samantha Vincent. Universal Pictures presents an Original Film/One Race Films/Perfect Storm production in association with Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, a Justin Lin film. www.thefastsaga.com


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